Numb Fingers and Crazy Nights

The strumming of Jubilee by E.J.B. Her vibrations fade into an empty room.

Life is just something that takes place in the world.
I think we have the power to create the world we live in. You can change anything at anytime. If you have the power to live or die, you have the power to do whatever you want. You just have to want it bad enough. Some use the word desperate, but i prefer the word drive.
I put elastic bands around my wrists to keep the pressure on. If I lose that pressure will I fade back into oblivion? Passing school had taken a backseat to passing life. I have a "B" but I know I can do better.
My poems and my performance would have been amazing.
My song would have graced your ears 2 months ago and made you cry.
My tattoo would make you shake your head.
My Bonne Terre Drive would have made you sigh.
The possibilities I have had are endless, but something always gets in the way of my "A" game. She asked if this was the healthy thing to do. Maybe. Maybe not.
Like I told Rayco, you have the power to do anything. When the drive is there, you will accomplish. I tried for one year to break through and one day it just happened. Persist and continue to shine bright.

My Spare Key.

The multiple-panes of glass are all broken. The paint is cracked and peeling. Remnants of a house once filled with life, but love still resides.

You say that one day it will all come crashing down and everyone will be right there to witness it all. You will be down on your knees balling your eyes out while everyone you have ever known, ever loved, ever hated will be right there looking down on you. I am ready for that because I am humbled. I love my surroundings and the people I know. Whether we talk or not, whether we make eye contact or you stare at the ground, you all have my love. Some of you I have never laid eyes upon but I love you.
I guess I am a little dumbfounded tonight. Communication is back and it really scares me. Thank you though. I pray for you once a day and hope that you will find the you that is in your soul, whoever that is.

"You were a schemer. You had plans. Look where it got you. I just did what I do best-I took your plan and turned it on itself." - The Joker.

When the young men go away, what do the young ladies do?

The Ophelia Parrish building at dusk. The view is familar, but just a blur.

rain rain. go away. i must move my legs. before i go insane.

Inspirational

In the house that watches over the Boundary Road Cemetery. This girl is all that is left; she is passing the time.

When you close your eyes at night what do you see? Problems and fears or something happy? Let us all be thankful for what we have and take pride in every breath with take. Someone somewhere is taking their last breath right now. I know I have more breaths left than I can count. While those many breaths will support my body, I only have a limited time to do what I need to. I have no time to be negative or see your faults. I am too busy appreciating what you do have and trying to make you smile. If my years pass and no one remembers me, I will look back and be happy knowing I made you smile.

Holes in the Walls

The old Kirksville High School building of 1914. The Structure is sound, yet the inside is anyone's guess.

The train will slowly become life sized as it rounds the mountain. Your eyes will perk up like the ears of my dog, Major. Pick up your suitcase, the time is coming. The rain is falling hard, calming the dust. The smoke billows up like an ascent into the heaven you seek to exist in. With your hat tilted, you gather with the others. Shelter yourself from this brisk rain. The thoughts of your beloved music box drift through your intoxicated mind. To the handsome business man next to you, your sorrow shines brightly. The old wrinkly woman in front of you glances back and envies you. The paint that has not peeled off the cement post yearns for your warm hand to touch it. These three give you so much thought, yet you have never thought about yourself. The voice inside your head echos as you worry about where your next stop will bring you. crowd crowd crowd closer.closercloser. Pressure is felt on your back and from each side as you crowd the steps. sit.
What note of a piano will you be? What will make you happy in the end? Surely you will conquer something great, explore new things, and in the end settle down with love. You stories will carry you until your last dying breath. Enola, have no fears. You are an angel. You float like the butterflies above.

Day 1

I easily forget things. That is why i have decided to create this media blog for myself.
I want to document myself, the people around me, and my locations so I can better remember what I have gone through. No matter happy or sad, painful or pleasurable, it is something I have experienced and that makes it worth remembering. By appreciating the past and present, I hope to be able to look forward to the future. I plan on having visual documentation everyday along with captions. I also want to do some type of audio or text from my day. This is my self-therapy and for my own documentation. If anyone else is able to smile or feel better in visiting my personal media diary, then that is an added plus.



















The view outside from my window. On the other side of this broken screen, real-life interactions occur.

"Time is just the river that our boats are floating down. We have full control of how fast we reach our destinations" -me