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| Reflections of a life; accomplishments, regrets, and future frets. |
Elliott Smith always makes me want to write more.
Time passes like the faces on a train. Things that were once so important in life, now have faded to distant memories that I can only remember when I am triggered by photographs and symbolic objects, words, or the occasional deja-vu.
The scars, freckles, and tattoos remind me of past times. . .some incredibly amazing and others so miserable. My finger tips run over them, reading them like Helen Keller read braille as I take a trip through my temporal lobe. The roller coaster is long, yet many exciting turns and sudden drops remain. With all that said, I can be nothing but thankful and encouraged by the progress I have seen and the future I hold. I may spend my years chasing worthless dreams, bad habits, and meaningless actions, but to me that is life. To sit in this glued together wooden chair tonight, I realize how many descendents of mine have struggled to put me in this position. I wish there was a way to accumulate it all me be some blossom of all their growth, but I struggle to come up with anything worth while. I will continue to paint, write silly songs on guitar and dance until my flat feet burn on the dance-floor, but this isn't a blossom. It is just one more link in the long chain of life. Like my father, and his father before him, I will pass along to my descendents my best advise and hope they succeed in becoming the blossom of a family tree I have not become. Pitseleh. I am excited to see the years that lay before me and I am so thankful for the cheap garage--sale bought chair I sit in tonight.
My decisions have not been flawless, my objectives not always the most pure and my ability to help those around me not always exhausted, but I realize that and as long as I move towards my goals, I will sleep with heavy eyes of contentness.
The desire to grow to be a better person is all I need as motivation tonight.
Ghost, ghost I know you live within me.
