I'm still on fire

Bills and Pills.

Link List for the month of October:
Matt Nathanson - All We Are
The 1900's - When I Say Go
Pinback - Penelope
Regina Spektor - Hero
Weakerthans - One Great City
Nada Surf - Robot
Biz Markie - Just a Friend
Lil Wayne - Run This Town Remix
MegaMoog - Summer Kite
Belle and Sebastian - Marx and Engels
John Lennon - Mother


I've been writing a lot of poetry lately and compiling it. When I come up with a better way to host it all it will be posted here.
Age quod agis.

In vino veritas

What do you think is on his mind?

Slow down. This world races around us, making the need for us to race against it obsolete.

I've spent quite a bit of time looking in the mirror the past few days looking at what I've become. I'm happy with it. I could use a few more crunches to get that 6-pack I always talked about. I could find something to stop that hairline from moving back any further. I could sleep a bit more to fight those growing wrinkles. I could? But this is me.
The same me who still is learning from 4-year olds. The same me who is a little bit country, a little bit rock n roll, and now I guess a little bit hip-hop. I'm picking my battles, avoiding comparisons, and watching people walk by me in slow motion.

I'm throwing away my crutches and standing up. I'm sticking to my word and going to work to become a better person.

Writing our names in Concrete

Everyday is the start of something beautiful.

I am not the brightest kid out there, especially considering I am skipping class just to write this today, but its on my mind and I have to get it down on paper.
I have been upping my doses of the real world lately. I go through phases where I just want to lie in my bed and focus on myself, but lately the beauty, pain, and hope of people around me has been on my mind. K, R, S, V, and S2 have been the main people that have shown and taught me about life recently. It makes me sit and think about what people want from me, the expectations they have of me, and why they want me in their lives. Happiness comes into play with all of this. As confusing and difficult as life seems sometimes, I think in the end it is worth living because of the beauty we create.


Untitled
the wind behind my hair.
my hand stretches for anyone who will embrace it.
flutes flutter in the far background.
heads turn as eyes lock on each other.
foreplay leads us on.
sharp figures hidden under loose clothing.
her eyes tug at my heart.
her every movement has me crumbling.
my body moves.
i do not know how it started.
i do not know how to make it stop.
her body brings me closer like a lighthouse.
lighting firecrackers inside my body.
ones never lit before.
the wick was still fresh white until her.
she defines the word passion.
Enola and i are meant to be



Never again will we feel this way. Let's take a picture. Let's savior each second. Let's write our names in concrete.

Butterfly Eyes

A mandolin to massage your meandering mind.

you expect the soda to have a good carbonated kick to it.
but the soda is flat.
the frown of a lonely soul through soda.
hopes have been smashed but reformed good as new.
the man has begun his run.
you must notice he is running after you.
its so easy to be caught.
so much work is involved in escaping his wrath.
the future looks dim through the window but there's still a breeze blowing for you
the weight of your world swoops down like a hungry owl.
can you run?
will your tender body move?
i know you can run.

Hips Like Cinderella

Eyes of the future are inspired by memories of the past.

Oh small corner of internet blog space, if you only could handle the truth.
Fear has held me back for so much of my life. For once I put fear behind me. We talk a big talk sometimes, but I think I'm going to try to walk big for a while. I deserve better than what I have now and maybe pushing things will get me to a worse place than I am at, but I'll never know unless I try.
As the end of this journey creeps closer, I am becoming more and more aware of the fictitious world I am living in. I can't decide whether it's best to savor each and every moment here, or to just keep that out of my mind.

Carving Question Marks in our Wrists

The stars look so bright.

It has been a long boat ride home. The air has been hot-cold-wet-dry on my face as I stand on the ship's deck. We have now entered familiar waters and my heart aches to be in my own bed. While my heart aches, I feed it the medicine of knowing that in a few months my heart will be sick of my own bed. Now? I'm constantly medicated myself, but I embrace it all.
I am learning to put things into a larger view. These times, friends, parties, fun; it all has an expiration date attached. We float on and hardly recognize the great times we are having because we fill our worrisome minds with how things could get better. I don't know if things could get much better. This is life and I love it. Each corner has a hidden surprise behind it, each door is a gateway to a new world, and each mind has hidden thoughts. This world is perfect for Joshua the Explorer.
A few weeks ago I started thinking about these new chances and ever since my dreams have been vivid. And I love telling you my dreams. I stare off into the sky as I explain the puzzles and mazes that my unconscious mind leaves for me. I then slowly drop my eyes to meet yours. That's the best feeling. Seeing how my dreams have captivated you too.
I hope my dreams are captivating you too.

are you alive, or not?

i aim my shotgun up at the sky to clear away the clouds. i try to be a modern day cowboy. someone who is everything to everyone he meets. a mysterious man who wears his hat low and rides off into sunsets on 130 horses of white honda metal.
when i feel a little lost or maybe a little powerless i look up into the sky. not necessarily looking for a higher being to help me out, but something about the sky makes me feel better.
i believe in the power of butterflies, the significance of the number 3 in my life, cookies and milk right before bed, how i have a special connection to animals, staying up until 4am, how accurate i am at looking into your eyes and knowing exactly what you are thinking, and so much more.

i'm the worm

We were camped out down on my land. I was with around 10 other guys and I didn't know any of them. We weren't in any sort of military group, but we all had weapons. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was setting. We had already been attacked three times. Two times from the front, once from the left side. We knew it would happen again.
We had a meeting to discuss our defense plan. The group as a whole decided to stick our ground and we would take turns staying up all night on watch duty. I didn't agree with the decision. I voted we go on the offensive and go after them, but I was overruled. We were then attacked again. This time the tree I was using for cover was shot multiple times and I knew this wasn't just a game. I tried to sleep but my eyes and mind wouldn't let me. I quietly gathered my things and left the rest of the guys. After getting a few hundred yards away I started to run. The light from the moon was bright enough, and my eyes had adjusted to the darkness to see pretty well. I was sprinting through fields, dense woods, livestock, and other people's property. I came across multiple vacant houses and I usually stopped inside of them to see if there was anything that I might be able to help me as I stayed in the wilderness.
In one particular house I was startled to feel the presence of a ghost or spirit of some sort. I could visibly see this white cloud floating through the house. Glass windows would shake when the spirit came into the same room as me. I wasn't scared, I was more confused as I tried to understand it.
Then my alarm clock sounded.

cello in my basement

my summer girl. i used to be a powerballa. i used to be a rebel standing alone in the night. now im merely a love ghost. the chain reactions have given me so much,but i have had to give up things in return. ive met people who are very genuine, and others who are as fake as my smile. ive gone through times when i didnt even know what i like. here i am. living life and no one can stop me. i miss many people from my past. double-o 7 is someone with real potential,someone very real and vision better than myself at many times. grandma spraya is a really good person. heart of gold with a kettle of talent bigger than i will ever have. the jester still wearing a hat,but a much more mature one. incredible good intentions and a very humble person. makes the best of the trouble thrown at them. DJ Tanner has more responsibility than i think i will ever have. they handle it very well. i admire this person very much for what they have done. curly fries is someone i cant even describe. i just see something so special in their eyes. something so pure and good.
there are so many thoughts i wish i could share with you, if you only knew....if you only knew
-incognito sharpless.

"-I love how you are not afraid to dancedancedance, wore trousers with tshirts, and once said that listening to belle & sebastian made you want to do dishes and splash the bubbles all around. I haven't seen you in awhile, but I know that every single time I've hung out with you I've had an amazing time.-"

Thank you whoever you are.

The Sawdust Man

A trail of wood chips and the smell of sweat as his legs drag him across the country. His brain runs non-stop as the internal fight over how he should affect the world takes place. Take this thinking to a macro level or deal with the world within sight? Right now he is thinking about walking across this country spreading a message in the image of Blank or Johnny Appleseed.

Our days are numbered so lets make the most of each opportunity. I'm trying not to lose my edge, while I try to expand my knowledge of the world. What are you trying to do?