Let's talk like we are drinking wine

My dog Major. An amazing dog and friend.

Last night in a place dear to me. Many chances were given to me here and I hope I made the most of them. I broke through many barriers and accomplished many goals from my current position. But like always, times change and we must too.
I got an extended version of my family history and it has entertained me greatly. I think one day I will write (and edit) much of my ancestor's story.
I've fought through the rain. What I then found was so beautiful; so amazing that I smile everyday just being able to think that my dreams could come true. How the times have changed. I do find myself driving down Highway 63 with the feeling I am being watched. Like I am being judged by you. We want different things. We need different things. Your standards are nothing to me. Take me for who I am, not for who you wish I was.

What will I find when I get to you?

"I just want you happy"

D.L.R kicking off summer right.

Fine arts list for the 'mazing month of May:

Songs:
Emilie Mover - Brand New
Chris Thile - Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground
Sara Watkins - Long Hot Summer Days
Madcon - Beggin'
Kina Grannis - Strong Enough (my imaginary girlfriend)
Justice - D.A.N.C.E.
Owl City - The Saltwater Room
The Presidents of the United States of America - Video Killed the Radio Star
Rilo Kiley - A Better Son/Daughter
Rilo Kiley - The Good That Won't Come Out
Ben Gibbard and Feist - Train Song

Albums:
The Shins - Chutes Too Narrow
Chris Thile - How To Grow A Woman From The Ground
Sara Watkins - Sara Watkins
Emilie Mover - Good Shake, Nice Gloves
Various Artists - Dark was the Night
Andrew Bird - Fitz And The Dizzyspells EP

Movie Trailers:
Post Grad
500 Days of Summer (great soundtrack)

Books:
Nothing is Impossible
The Autobiography: Miles Davis

WWW's:
www.audrey-kawasaki.com
www.therentals.com
Of Montreal - Lysergic Bliss (Homemade Video)
Leprechaun Say Yeah



Thank you to everyone who has introduced me to this stuff and hopefully it can entertain and help more people out there. So just dance.

We're singing and we're happy and we're...well not colored

E.J.B, J.D.B, and J.T.B.


The people you care about. When I saw that funnel cloud dropping from the sky behind my place of employment, my mind raced. Faces and memories start running through your head. Some of those people got phone calls or texts messages, but some didn't. My family is very important to me and each time I go home and spend time with them I realize that more. I had a fun filled few weeks spending time with my family and I am very thankful for that. My 2 brothers are both very cool guys who I see very bright futures in store for them. I'm proud of them and the people they are becoming. Thank you guys.

Brand new eyes

A view from the sea. Look at the land that makes me free.

Back from a 2 week holiday, I returned last night to the city of Kirks. It's roads and houses and lights filled me full of excitement. I am ready to own this city. My garden suffered with too much rain and squirrels digging up my plants, but perseverance will help me rebuild.
On that holiday I learned so much about the people around me, myself, and the world. Monday I will sit down with my bff, and goals will be set. One of mine will be to take something from every experience in life. It is what we do in our days that makes up what we do in a lifetime.
Sometimes a week feels like a day and other times a day feels like a week. It is the cycle we go through in the eternal search for happiness. I love it. I love all of it.

Neat Little Domestic Life

Standing tall. Thank you for the picture.

Something does not feel right. Maybe it is this city. Maybe it is my fears coming back. Maybe it is what I miss right now. Faces and places, automobiles and shiny shoe laces. Maybe it is #77 and the excitement. Who knows what it is, but I met some amazing people today and still have so much to look forward to. I am grateful for the chances I have been given and the people in my life. Thank you guys.

That Close

This is why you go to your basement. I always hated doing that as a kid.

I could hear it. I could literally feel it. One of the Highway 6 tornadoes missed me by 1/2 of a mile. You never know what you are going to do in situations like those until you are there. wow. Quotes, pictures, stories, and much more to come.

I love Relish

Zimmerman's Cafe. Everything is passing by.

today reminds me of that day. the one where i sat on my bed and cried with the rain. my tears streamed down my face at an even pace. they attempted to keep up with the rain.
but times were different. back then the trees were without leaves. now the tree is full of leaves, yet today i am still sad. sad because someone else is leaving, but not like last time. this time i will find all of the good and try to ignore the bad. relish what i have made and sing praises of what i have. tears will not be present in my eyes, at least yet. today almost looks the same as that day, yet it is very different.

Question That Lasts Forever

Adventures at the Devil's Chair. Kirksville, Missouri.

I think by now i have realized that it is natural and something that 99% of people have, but it still bothers me when i think about it too much.
i wonder what other people think of me.
i wonder if you find me attractive.
i wonder if you find me intelligent.
and "you" isn't any particular person; its everyone.
I have wondered about it with so many people in my life and i will always continue to wonder it. Even if someone tells me what they think about me, I wonder if its a lie, or if it has already changed, or what they meant by certain words.
Uncertainty in self image is something that bothers me about myself.

Void of Embrace

They rarely make them like her anymore. Cherish today.

i love to hug people. i think there is something so simply amazing about being able to comfort someone and put your arms around them. even in joyous occasions, an embrace just has that bonding element to it. For the past 3 months i have shared very few hugs. my arms tingle sometimes wishing to have someone to be around. affection in this way has become a void in my life.
maybe because i had it for a long period of time, but i think in general a lack of physical contact and embracing is bad for people. at least it is for me.

Sometimes in the Morning

We collect junk in our lives. I cannot afford to clutter my mind with it.

memories of dandelion fields
rolling hills and street signs
little league baseball stands
and concession stand hot dogs
these are the things i will miss about this time of year.
my hope rises each day with the air temperature
my mind speeds up like the new found abundance of insects
i take my guitar out of its case because it too wants to see the sun.

now i run through fields with dogs i dont know,
i drive along winding 2 lane highways with my sunroof open,
i scream the lyrics to "semi-charmed life",
and i reflect on the past and love the future.

Crushing Girls

Deep inside my creative crevice of my mind.

she is so excited
she is exuberant.
the big eyed
full of life
shiny goldfish is hers.
at home she has the tank all set up
the water is already waiting for its inhabitant
with little water plants
and a piate ship
and now the pet has been bought.
a lackadaisical employee scooped her new friend
and tossed him into the bag
as water flew everywhere

now the girl swiftly glides out of walmart
her father at her side
she insists on holding the bag
with a new friend in her hands,
nothing can stop her now.

yet as she gleams with happiness on her stroll to the car
her grip weakens
the slippery water does what it does best
and the bag falls.
her new friend tumbles to the pavement
as thin plastic bags explode
her heart is being crushed.
his life and potential ends so suddenly
and this girl is crushed.

i am the goldfish

finally

J.D.B. being free.

after 5 months of jail
i am free.
no more hiding my face when i drive my car
no more worrying if you are in the next aisle
no more moving my graduation date so i don't have to see your family
no more being someone i'm not.
this is the summer where i can be me.
summer days filled with barb-b-que
and roadtrips
and foreign countries
and front porch guitars.
gardens are growing
the trees are now green
and my spirit is living free.

Life