Conquered Eyes

I look in your eyes and I can't imagine what it feels like. You are fighting the battle, yet your defeat is inevitable. As time passes, the memories of your life slip away. Your blue eyes are resilient, yet I see the glances of pessimism and sense of hopelessness. It is beyond your control and there is nothing you can do. There is nothing I can do.
I wish the sun could warm your mind. The bright rays could heat you up. Thawing you out from a cold winter slumber. The days of cold oil consistency are now gone; this weather should make your mind and body more fluid, right? I hope, yet I know my prayers will not be answered.

I don't get scared easily, yet knowing your pain leaves me frightened. Those moments where I get scared, I look to the stars. The moon shines down bright on my head, and that is the exact moment I know it will all be ok.
Your blue eyes now; one day my hazel eyes.

The Beautiful Nightmare

We sit in the dirty, dark part of this city.
Crime is sprawling around us,
Yet we sit here like angels.
What makes us different?

The man on the phone loves his job. The dangers he faces are outweighed by the good people he helps. He is simple, but has a simple, happy life. I love and appreciate that.


I may be a soul who has good intentions, yet my mind is mysterious even to me.
People read these words. They look into my eyes. They listen to my words. Yet who knows the real me? If you knew the real me, you may be scared.

Never a Dull Moment

we work our fingers to the bone only to die.
we slave over hot stoves to watch it all disappear before our eyes.
what will last in this world?
finding that out is something i yearn.

words are sucked out of blogs and into songs.

1-800-BETS-OFF

People who understand my situation and can refer me to free treatment facilities in my area.



Thank God. Because I have developed a habit of gambling.
I gamble with the relationships I form, the friends I make, and my life decisions. There have come to be very few secure things in my life, and so much chance. I don't think its so bad though. I live life by coin flips and what my heart tells me to do at any one moment.

I make mistakes. Yes.
But fuck that. It doesn't matter as long as a learn something. The life puzzle is being sorted out.
Edge pieces go in this pile. Red colored ones here. Green ones over there.

This is the story of our lives....I plan to make mine worth while.

February with you

We used to fly so high. Spreading our creative wings high in the sky, we ruled the day. Face the facts, we were legends of our stomping ground.
That was many moons ago. Now our stomachs are fatter, our hair-lines receding, and life is pushing us where it wants to.
What can inspire men to be their best and take chances? Who will judge us when we are laying in a ditch? Stories of the past brings smiles to our faces, but the tales of the future are like demons. They haunt us. They are in our nightmares, but always in our minds.


My blog bores me with no pictures. I must find a way to fix my computer.

Steamboat Willy?

A time to reflect on the past, present, and future.
This generation of momentary decisions, one-hit wonders, and cutting has lost sight in patience. We have become the ADHD generation. We lack a voice and give into the flow of media. We know and hear what we want to hear because it is easy to understand. Our open-mindedness is watching multiple youtube videos or television shows on the same topic and accepting homosexuals and getting rid of visible racism.
Read. Listen. Talk. See the people around you and make them think. That will make you think. Thinking is contagious. If we only watch and accept everything we see as fact, we sell ourselves short. Our generation is one that has so much coming at us, we often can't find time to research. It is time for change. It is time to have a voice of our own.

This past week I spent with my best friend David down in Gulf Shores. The place is full of characters who are trying to achieve a dream. In doing so, they talk, converse and seem to have their own opinions. The problem is they are old. Their generation questions everything and tries to come up with opinions that are new and unheard. Tugboat Willy was crazy, yes. But the man thinks and listens. He understands that the best way to make people think is to converse and not force-feed his opinion.

Years have passed and time slips by. We work towards building a life we are proud of and can make ourselves happy. My past is full of mistakes, but from them I have learned so much. I am not afraid to take a chance. I have the support to fail and the mindset to gain so much.
I leave you with love.

Don't Fall In

The night before trips I can never fall asleep. Instead I stay awake playing with fonts, pictures, and borders that combine in my mind. The problem is always getting them on paper.

Emotions are so funny to me.
So much I think I can't write. Access to this keeps my fingers shaking, not typing.